violent femme: “are you in love?”
asked anon in my ask box.
hi. am i in love? am i in love.
the thing is, i believe in a thousand different types of love. i fall in love with strangers all the time. not romantically, but i’m easily fascinated. and i am in awe of a lot of people. but that doesn’t necessarily mean that i was in love with them.
i have been dating my boyfriend right now for two years. we’ve never taken a break, or talked about having a break, or so much as came close to thinking we might need to take a break. we’re extremely reclusive and wonderful at shutting out the rest of the world so that we can watch old episodes of freaks and geeks and eat soy ice cream because he’s lactose intolerant and i love ice cream. and you know what, i have never been asked this before, but yeah. fuck yeah. i’m in love. i am absolutely in love with this half-korean boy who stutters when he first meets you and has freckles on his shoulders and loves red high top converse. i’m in love with a boy who’s obsessed with star wars and drinking cranberry juice out the bottle in the same cut off shorts he wore yesterday. he’s the coolest guy i know. he always remembers to take out the loose change in my pockets before he does the laundry. he let’s me steal his t-shirts and use his favorite pillow. he used to mail me letters and send yellow flowers that were really weeds but he didn’t know. he lets me write about him and share it with a thousand strangers and he never complains. he cracks my fingers for me and kisses my knuckles afterwards. we play grand theft auto and see who can pick up the most prostitutes. he is my favorite person in the world, and it’s not because he’s cute, it’s not because he’s safe, it’s not because i want to be with him forever. all we know is that we are horribly obsessed with one another and it hasn’t declined since the moment it sparked. and when i see myself and all of the things i plan to do, none of them are ever without him. And I don’t know how to pinpoint what it is or where it starts. It’s just that he makes me feel like an entire person. like I was just sleep walking before he came around. And if we are to end up going in separate paths eventually, I’ll know that I felt some sort of love in the most tangible form I have come into contact with so far.
So I hope that answered your question.
